(artistic license from Ecclesiastes 9:5)
Some things are puzzling me as of late and I thought I should impart total details to you at this time, as is my nature.
Before I launch, I should make something crystal clear as to not offend the masses. Not everything is about you so cease with that manufactured outrage, pronto. Human beings have morphed into a collective glob of jelly—or some other soft gooey substance—these days, and clutch pearls over the silliest things. That was my disclaimer.
If you are guilty of doing whatever it is I’m going to discuss below, that doesn’t necessarily mean that this column is about dear old/young YOU. It just so happens that you might share this ridiculous habit with other people. Now that I got that out of the way, I shall proceed with caution.
I’ve found that when my creative juices have dried up and blown off in the breeze, a simple visit to Facebook will generally revitalize them. Even though I gave it up for Lent (once again), I decided to head on over this week to see what was happening. Mind you, I do share some of the videos I make of local businesses and/or interviews and things of that nature but I TRY not to spend a whole lot of time “gawking” and scrolling, as I think it leads to more hot flashes.
There are a few trends that unfold on that wall and I’m here to talk about as many as it takes to fill this column space. (I think that was somewhat of a rhyme too.)
Why do people take the time to write letters to dead people on the Facebook “wall” region? I’ve taken note of this “fad” over the years and finally decided to speak up and say: STOP IT! (For those who are not familiar with said wall, it’s the public area of that social media platform.)
Is the letter writing campaign really for the benefit of the deceased or is it some desperate way to garner sympathy for yourself? I literally, not figuratively, do not get this at all.
Do you really think that Uncle Zach and Aunt Millie are perusing social media as they perch on a cloud whilst being serenaded by cherubim? Is cherubim the plural of cherub? These and other questions will not be addressed in this space.
Do NOT get me wrong about this scenario. I best explain right now that I do not object to putting up an obituary or discussing how much you miss Person X, etc. What I find to be super insane is the act of writing a letter to a person who is dead, for ALL to see on social media. How about writing it down in a journal or typing it on a computer and maybe sharing it with family or pets instead? Hey, it’s just a thought. My cats are privy to my every thought, feeling and emotion and are more sympathetic than Facebook “friends.”
I don’t understand this and I won’t ever understand it but from where I sit, (with a view of cats draped over every square inch of living space), I see it as people seeking attention, end of story. It must be made crystal clear to all involved that Aunt Millie was YOUR favorite relative and she favored YOU over all others. Yours was a very special relationship and it must be shared on Facebook! Clearly the same thing goes for friends who are no longer “with us.”
There isn’t too much more to say on that topic so I shall casually segue to another one but will stick with the Facebook theme, of course.
Another puzzling and attention grabbing scenario is when Person C decides to post a request for prayer or some good vibe sending without really filling anyone in on the reasons WHY. It’s something top secret that simply cannot be discussed in public but please pray for me anyway! I have seen this from time to time as well and it always drives me to drink.
“I cannot tell you why but PLEASE send good vibes to So and So!” I have a friend in real life who does that jazz—not on social media but in person. It’s infuriating to the max.
What is the story with that methodology? Could it be that Person C is secretly wanting people to beg him/her to tell them what is really going on? Is it a way to, yet again, become the center of attention? Hmm.
Sometimes there are a few people who seem to be “in on” the action in terms of the reasons why the request has been made. That only leads to hurt feelings, in my view. It leads to, “Am I not a good enough friend to be told what the real story is here?” (That would be followed by tears and depression, of course.)
I won’t even begin to delve into the cult known as politics at this time. I’m talking about politics and Facebook combined, by the by. I have found that that mixture should be added to the list of what should or shouldn’t be discussed in “mixed company.” (Do people even SAY “mixed company” anymore? What did it really mean? Was it mixed as in ladies and gentlemen? I think that was it but am not super positive. I could go look it up but then I’d have to erase this digression in parenthesis and I will not do that.)
The list of which I speak in terms of the mixed company is something like: “You should not discuss politics, sex or religion.” That should be applied to Facebook is my point and yes, it took me a while to get to said point but I have arrived after a long and bumpy journey.
With all of that now being said, I shall EXIT as quickly as I arrived. I really think that’s all I can muster for the week. I know it’s not tremendously deep or meaningful but if I can just prevent ONE person from penning a piece to a dead person, I will have accomplished my mission in life.
THE END (Interstate Crosscheck, “The General’s Son,” by Miko Peled, “War is a Racket,” by General Smedley Butler)
PS I typed this column with the assistance of rubber “deals” that look like sewing thimbles strategically placed on several of my fingers. This prevents my five inch long nails, give or take—mainly take, from hitting the wrong keys. For added fun, they are an orange hue.