By the time this paper hits the newsstands my son, known as “The Child” to many, will be 23 years of age. Can you dig it? Where has the time gone? Why do they grow up so fast? What else should I ask?
The Child turned 23 on November 24, which was Saturday. (It seems odd to use the past tense when it is currently the day before Thanksgiving but that's how it goes in the world of weekly papers. Is this a digression?)
Since I'm always short on funds, I decided to do the same thing with Spencer that I did with Mother and simply give him the gift of my words for his birthday. Actually, The Child's gift is going to have a slight twist because I thought it might be fun to plunk down one of his former columns from the “olden” days.
For those who are new to the paper and/or to my column, my kid used to write a weekly piece called “Coin Corner” for this award-winning publication. His nickname was even “Coin Boy” for some time. AWE, those were adorable days. He would give the values of a particular coin or coins on a weekly basis and would oft' answer his fan mail in his column. I was the secretary back then, which I guess is out of style in terms of that particular word, and would pound out his column whilst he dictated. Eventually he learned how to type but not until he was a bit older.
This is how we met the world-renown Larry, of Larry's Coins fame too. (See advertisement in this paper.) We spent many an afternoon in his little shop exploring his collection of coinage.
I also recall the time when Spencer was asked to speak for some group of gals whose title escapes me at this time. I don't even remember his age but I'm thinking it was maybe when he was ten or eleven. He gave a presentation in front of the ladies and then took questions. I'm giggling and kind of melting over the memory, to be honest with you. (I usually lie my arse off to you but decided to try the honest approach this time.)
I couldn't find one of his original headers for the column but did manage to dig up a picture of a press pass from the same time period. This Coin Corner column is from April of 2008. Without further ado, I shall give you this blast from the past by The Child. Spencer: You have been a wonderful son and are also an exceptional human being. I'm proud to call you my kid—or The Child even! I hope you enjoyed your birthday and that you get a charge out of my gift.
Coin Corner
- By Spencer Boyd
Hello, this week the famous Kay sent me a magazine which had an article in it about how it costs more to make pennies and nickels than their face value.
Kay is a loyal fan and she also wanted me to try and find out what a certain coin was. It was funny because she described the coin and it's a very odd design that will have me putting on my investigator hat and finding out more! Thanks Kay, once again, for your loyal “fanhood.” (Thought I'd make up a new word.) I will have to work on the coin mystery next week or the week after since I'm going to talk about the “penny part” of the article that you sent and the nickel next time.
Now, about this article, it was in “New Yorker” magazine from March of this year. It tells about how, for example, it costs 1.7 cents to make a penny. (I have seen other things in other sources that put this at a different cost but I'm only talking about the article that Kay sent.) It is more expensive, an average of 50 million dollars per year, for the mint to manufacture this. It is a condition known in the coin world as negative seigniorage (definition: the difference between the cost of the bullion plus minting expenses and the value as money of the pieces coined, constituting a source of government revenue).
They cut down on the copper content in the penny in 1982 and started making them with Zinc. Now Zinc is becoming more expensive and even the small bits of copper are increasing in price. So, that is one reason why it costs more to make. Just like they stopped making silver coins in 1964 due to the silver costing more.
According to the article, if it were to take an average of anything more than 6.15 seconds to pick a penny up from the ground, it really wouldn't be worth it since it wouldn't equal minimum wage after an hour.
I did some calculating using the 6.15 second number and, after five phone calls, a half hour, an email confirmation that my calculations matched Uncle Blaine's and a “Lean Pocket” Sandwich, I came up with this. I asked myself, if it takes 6.15 seconds to pluck a penny from the ground, and you did so steadily at that rate for 1 hour, how many pennies would you have? I then converted it to dollars and cents and found that you would pick up around $5.85 worth of pennies. This is less than minimum wage! (5.8537 dollars was the exact finding and was backed up by Uncle Blaine the accountant. Don't even ask what Aunt Jill came up with!)
Now that I'm done with heavy math, I will tell you that some people have thought about getting rid of the penny. However, without pennies, say you bought something for 47 cents and you gave them 50 cents, they would not give you any change at all. (They wouldn't since they would lose money over time) Over millions of transactions like this, the store would be making much more by basically ripping you off. That is my view and was pretty much the view of the “New Yorker” as well.
I will write more about this article next time.
Thank you for reading Coin Corner.
Thank you again Kay, you always give me something to research, thereby making a better column, hopefully!!
It's me, Lisa, I'm back to say: THE END (Interstate Crosscheck, AIPAC Lobby, “War is a Racket” by General Smedley Butler)