I have a total confession to make and, as you know, I love doing such here, in this very column space.

Here is the scoop: Even though I've turned in some reruns, as of late, I really have had something to say. I honestly didn't want to bore you with yet another health crisis, story, saga, etc., unfolding in my life, hard to fathom, I know. That is why I've utilized reruns when I could have worked on this. Better late than never? Maybe? Pretty please?

However, (here comes the part where you close the paper or move on to another article), upon further reflection, I thought that what lies below might actually aid others in the reading region. Therefore, I have decided to pen a coma producing piece about a subject that is super important, especially if you are me.

Right around the beginning of the year, I was suffering from cold number 84 since late fall. Yes, I exaggerate to make a point and to possibly add some excitement to this gobbledygook.

Anyhow, after a case of the flu had exited stage left, I still didn't feel right for weeks after. I was so exhausted all of the time that I would literally, (and I only use that term literally, as you know), have to rest in between making calls for the paper. My legs were hideously pain ridden and I had a general sense of impending death.

Now, I'm not one to skip to the doctor for every little ailment in life. Because of that, my provider knows that when I do call for an appointment, I must really mean it.

The bottom line of the visit was that she ended up testing my blood for everything from Lyme Disease to multiple vitamin deficiencies.

The result: I had such a low Vitamin D deficiency that it was comparable to a person in the morgue. Again, I'm attempting to jazz up this piece but, it was super low, at a 4.4. A regular reading, according to Vitamin D experts, should really be around 50 to 100. Some say that 30 to 100 is OK.

I guess I should explain that not only am I not a doctor but, I never played one on TV, radio or on Broadway. However, I do possess a voracious curiosity when it comes to investigating new subjects and this was very new, to me, anyway.

Thus began a quest to unearth as much data as possible. I am now a total, not a partial, but, a total expert on all things Vitamin D. I should interrupt myself here to say that when I say Vitamin D, I mean Vitamin D3. There, I'm done blurting in and cutting myself off mid thought.

My studies concluded that most of the population, especially in this region, is deficient in this life-affirming substance. Actually, in the winter, most of the United States, with the exception of the very southernmost states, lacks in the sunlight needed to insure a health Vitamin D level.

Also, I found that it isn't really a vitamin but, it is a hormone. The whole stimulation of production comes from the cholesterol on our skin being activated into producing the D, via sunlight.

Because of low cholesterol pills, being ingested by many in our society, coupled with oft' unreasonable fears of the sun and the liberal application of sun blocking substances, we have become a nation prone to this malady.

Now, as I indicated earlier, I had no clue about how life-sustaining Vitamin D was until I looked to many experts for advice. One such expert is a man who I never watch on TV but, since Aunt Liz lives for him, I have heard him whilst walking through a room. He would be someone named Dr. Oz. I'm sure you have heard of this gent. I just wanted to mention him since most humans know of this fellow.

Moving right along, the problems with the lack of D are too numerous to list. I can impart that a shortage can lead to the following list of maladies. Now, I wasn't sure if these needed to be capitalized or not. Therefore, I capitalized some, just for good measure. I know, I'm such an excellent writer. Anyhow, here is the partial list: osteoporosis and osteopenia; 17 varieties of cancer (including breast, prostate and colon); heart disease; high blood pressure; obesity; metabolic syndrome and diabetes; autoimmune diseases; MS; Rheumatoid arthritis; Osteoarthritis; Bursitis; Gout; Parkinson's and Fibromyalgia. This isn't a thorough list but I'm running out of time and space. I gathered this particular group of ailments on a website called, drfranklipman.com. There is a plethora of wisdom on the web, other than the above-mentioned.

I'm sure you might be curious as to how much Vitamin D is needed. The only way to ascertain this information is to ask your doc to run a test. This should be a 25-hydroxy Vitamin D blood test. Clearly, if it's low, he or she will recommend a supplement and then would order more tests in several weeks. This is how it worked for me.

Due to this issue, I also have a high Rheumatoid Factor reading and must seek help via a specialist. In the meanwhile, I've been trying to change my diet in order to aid with a general sense of well-being.

The bottom line with my situation is that due to feeling kind of hideous and tired, I'm oft' unable to pound out original columns. So, that is another confession, or the results of my earlier confession or whatever you'd like to call it. I guess you could call it laziness and you wouldn't be far off.

In closing and yes, I know you are excited over that statement, I hope that this has helped you in some way. I've only scratched the surface here but, I certainly can't prattle on forever about VD—that means Vitamin D so get your mind out of the gutter. I'm sure you will investigate further, if you are so moved.

Also, beware of this...If you are traveling on Route 6 and spot a camping chair in a driveway with human legs and arms draped about, like a drunk at the beach, it's just me getting some Vitamin D through sunlight. This whole scene could cause a massive pile-up so I thought I should warn you.

I've run out of room so I can't add anything humorous, catchy or spine-tingling. I guess Vitamin D isn't really that hilarious. (See, I blamed the lack of humor in this piece on Vitamin D. I still got it.)

THE END.