APATTNC

As I've mentioned before, I oft' receive vibes of pure hatred, which lead to columns by taking in the news or by viewing talk shows of an opinionated nature.

Just in case you've been held captive by a primitive culture that does not have access to various information outlets, I shall inform you of the only news item of the day, or days, in this particular situation.

For the past 13 days, and counting, we've been subjected to APATTNC.

Clearly, I need to explain. You see, APATTNC is defined as: All Plane all the Time News Coverage. If you still know not of what I speak, then you might want to gently tap your captor on the shoulder and inquire.

It's not that I don't give a fig about a missing airplane, because I do. I simply have come to the conclusion that, at the time of my furious typing, there ARE no conclusions. I certainly wish that some of the major networks could admit defeat. I'm silly, I know.

Hopefully, by the time that this delightful column airs, we will know the fate of the missing plane. Not only would it be some sort of comfort for the family members but, it certainly would be a relief for those of us who have been bombarded by APATTNC.

All the various experts can do, when being interviewed about the misfortune, is to employ massive conjecture. For some odd reason, I kind of like the idea of actual data being passed to the consumer. I know, I'm out of my mind with logical thinking.

I'm not the only person who is disturbed to the max due to the over-coverage, as it seems to be the general consensus of many in my path. Of course, my path only leads from my work area to the bathroom but, I digress.

When theories ranging from alien abduction to stowaways are broached, by hard news outlets, I tend to pause for reflection and/or some suicidal thoughts thrown in for good measure.

I'm wondering if anything else has unfolded on this massive cesspool of humanity we call the earth, in the last two weeks. I did hear a vicious rumor, in the midst of Plane Mechanic A blathering on to Commercial Pilot B, having to do with Vlad Putin and his latest shenanigans.

Catastrophes, hostile take overs, kidnappings, murders and all things hideous have been overshadowed by the insanity that is the APATTNC.

I'm not advocating that we ignore the situation totally because I'm not a horrid idiot, contrary to the opinions of all people in my life. Things like passenger jets that vanish from the skies should be headline news. However, we should be fed the straight dope when, and if, actual proof, via confirmed sources, is at hand.

Not only but, I was just beginning to think that my non-flying ban, since 9-11, would be lifted when a gigantic in-flight object simply went 'poof' in the night.

Also, did you ever notice that when there is an airline emergency, we are told, in no uncertain terms, that flying is super safe? Sorry but, I'm not reassured, at this point.

I'm sure you are begging me to put an end to this snoozefest so, here goes. In my humble, (quit laughing, as you might wet your pants), opinion, we should not be subjected to any more guesses in terms of Flight 370.

We have kind of overlooked the human element here and we have to remember that families are suffering miserably, due to the lost plane. I honestly do not think that assembling panelists on the news, 24/7, so that they may take random stabs at hunches is doing anyone any good whatsoever.

THE END.

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