…and on the eighth day God created the horse in perfect image, to romp, graze, gallop, play, and make manure wherever it darn well pleases, in divine grace.
“Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga,
and your horse naturally won…
You’re so vain, you’re so vain…” *
So in case you didn’t know, Roseanne can’t see.
My eyesight went bad when I was 9 years old and I wore thick glasses all through school. Contacts were a welcome relief in the 12th grade, and through college and travelling. I have had two laser surgeries to correct my vision, but my corneas seem to want to play football,** so I do stumble around a lot.
This was brought home to me recently when I purchased an outdoor magazine from a newsstand.
Relative to this, many people I know like to go horseback riding-camping, all over the United States. They either have horse trailers that have living quarters with showers and bathrooms up front, or they drive someplace and stay at a ranch or nearby motel.
They stay for the week out in the wilds of the plains or mountains, they have camp fires, and they fish or cook out over the grill or fire. They ride and see cool stuff and they make new friends, both of the equine variety and the human.
I thought it might be fun to have some articles related to this style of hobbying and vacationing, so I picked up the outdoor magazine for what I thought was $3.95. Not bad for being able to garner some creativity and get some ideas for content for the horse column.
I had the usual cat food and dog treats on the list, but I thought my bill was a little high at the checkout counter, so when I got home, I put on my glasses to be able to see the receipt.
I nearly toppled over when I read $9.95 for the magazine, instead of $3.95. WHA-A-A-AAT?!
No way, man.
It is skinny, it’s a brochure***, a tourist publication,*x4 and obviously for men only, and I paid $9.95?! There’s some dude in a buckskin outfit with a muzzle loader on the front cover and ads for “Permaculture” on the back cover.
What is Permaculture, may I ask? *x5
I was stuck. I couldn’t take it back, because the clerk would never believe that I hadn’t read it already. You can’t say that you think the price is too high for the value, you are stuck.
Yeah, I like standing at the plumbing fixtures flushing money down the toilet.
Stupid. Talk about a horse’s arse.
So me, you, and everybody are going to utilize the content of “American Frontiersman Magazine,” this week, next week, and the week after that, and the week after that one, for every penny I can get out of it and every article I can quote, with credits and bibs.
And this didn’t happen because I’m vain and won’t wear reading glasses. Rather, I won’t admit to being that old to even need reading glasses.
When I saw Eddie Papsun wearing reading glasses out at the Greenwood Supervisors meeting, and then tell me he has a grandson, I was aghast. I couldn’t believe the years, nay, the decades had slipped by so fast.
Why, aren’t we still going over to Conneaut Lake Park to the Dreamland Ballroom for a dance tonight? Doesn’t Mark Sobieski still have a fabulous muscle car tucked away in his garage, that he only brings out on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation? Isn’t my old horse still grazing out in the pasture?
I thought I might as well get a cane, join the AARP, and start living on a mashed potato diet; WTH happened?
So this week’s column is for those who like the great outdoors and enjoy a good horseback riding-camping trip, especially next to a river or lake stocked with fish.
Fish are a great food source any time of the year.
I can’t understand the Great Irish Potato Famine being able to happen on an island that is surrounded by the sea. A sea that is full of fish and other edible offerings.
I love Pymatuning Lake and have been fishing there all my life. I grew up here. The Perch, Sunfish, Catfish, Bluegill, Bass, and Walleye make the best home-cooked meals on the planet, whether baked or fried, or even in a soup. Fish soup, Yum.
They’re even good cold the next day for lunch.
Fishing is good fellowship with family or friends. A survivalist will make it if the trucks ever stop running and there’s no food on the grocery store shelves. A survivalist can live off the land and water, and even has a horse for transportation.
A Bass fish, Large or Small mouth, is fun to land and they seem to like to hang out near boat docks or downed or overhanging trees or near seaweed beds and lily pads.
When cleaning time is nigh, I like to scale my fish, because the skin helps with flavor and also provides nutritional protein.
Scale and rinse the fish and then get a good, sharp knife, thin and long and used for meat-cutting.
Make a diagonal cut behind the Pectoral fin, <, the fin on the side of the fish, and run it up to the spine. Insert the knife into the incision at the spine, facing the tail, and let it do the work as you run it down along the backbone toward the tail. Cut out the dorsal fin, if needed, or bypass it.
Gauge the depth and range of the filet as you go down toward the tail and out on through the tail. Your knife should slide through the belly area as you work. Use the fish’s mouth as an anchor while you work.
Go back up to the head, and make small cuts as you work around the ribcage, continuing around the ribcage and on down the bottom of the body toward the tail again.
Repeat this procedure on the other side of the fish.
Rinse everything with fresh water. Store in refrigerator or cook promptly.
I don’t bother with the belly meat, just the fillets; the belly meat can be messy because of the fish guts.
This procedure can go for any fish you catch, as can the following recipe:
Lemon Pan-fried Fish Fillets: (1)
Per every 2 large fish fillets
1 lemon
¾ stick of butter
3 sprigs parsley
1 Tbsp. Olive or Corn Oil
1 clove garlic
Heat frying pan to medium-high. Cut half of the lemon into slices, leave the other half whole.
Dice up parsley sprigs.
Add butter, oil, and preferred or optional ingredients, such as lemon or seasonings, to heated pan. You may gauge the amount of butter or oil, depending on how many fish you are frying.
Add the fillets and lemon slices to frying pan and cook fish for 3 minutes on each side; fish does not take long to fry.
Take the lemon half and squeeze it over the fish and into pan.
Add the fresh parsley to the sauce in pan, and save some for a garnish. Salt and pepper to taste.
Optional: Dip fish fillets in milk or whisked eggs, and roll in flour or breadcrumbs. Add some grated Parmesan cheese into dry mix, if desired. Let sit 10 minutes and dip in flour again. Pan fry the same as recipe.
You can also make any of your favorite sauces to drizzle over top.
Serve with steamed vegetables, such as asparagus or broccoli.
Ketchup might be an insult to the fish, but can also add to the experience, as can tartar sauce.
Don’t worry, I have my reading glasses on as I type, so I’m not mixing up the amounts or the ingredients.
Enjoy dinner with family and friends.
More from the American Frontier and the follow-along magazine next week.
Permaculturally yours, I am leaving you and your horse to survive on your own to the immortal words of Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, “Happy Trails to You.”
*”You’re So Vain,” written and performed by Carly Simon, 1972, Album entitled “Songs from the Trees,” WMG, Sony, etc.
**Myopia, Nearsightedness, where the cornea of the eye is shaped like a football, instead of round, can see things at close range only. Very close range.
*** & *x4: my opinions, all in my opinion
*x5: Permaculture: The development of Ag Ecosystems intended to be self-sustainable and self-sufficient.
1: American Frontiersman Magazine, Spring 2019, #246, “From Water to Table,” by Mike Adams, pg. 37