Headlines and bathroom obsessions

I believe I'm going to start a new tradition in this column space. You know how I drive all in my path bonkers due to my constant bashing of the corporate media, aka fake news? Well, I am going to plunk some headlines in this space from real news outlets. You can then compare them to the things that the public is being spoon fed via tantalizing attention grabbing methods.

This will be in addition to my regular weekly bloviating sessions; so have no fear as I will still be coming AT you with my particular brand of insanity on a weekly basis. Calm down as I know you are simply overjoyed.

Mind you, these are going to be from throughout the past few weeks. They will not necessarily be in any kind of chronological order either.

Headline number one: Immigration at Net Zero – both legal and illegal. Number two: Tortured, Killed & Driven to Suicide: Whistleblower exposes abuse of mentally ill in Florida Prison. Number 3: Saudi officials were supporting 9/11 hijackers, commission member says. Number 4: Top 25 hedge fund managers earned $13 billion in 2015 – more than some nations. Number 5: Clinton team seeks to court Bush donors. Number 6: DOJ warns NC over new transgender law.

That portion of the column is now over. Stop that cheering as I've warned you about it before. I have to ask a question about the current state of affairs here in the good old U S of A.

Drones are being dropped on people with a 90% INACCURACY rate; President Obama continues to deport more people than any other president in history; people are dying due to lack of health care; the climate situation is out of control and many other legitimate problems plague our way of life.

With that all being said (and believe me that is just a fraction of our issues as a nation) why is the focus shifting to bathroom usage? I have never in my days seen such an uproar over a person using the facilities.

As I type, I have the telly tuned into C Span. Some members of Congress are on the floor talking about actual policies and problems of the day like drug abuse, for one example. Some, on the other hand, are OBSESSED with bathrooms as they relate to transgender individuals. I sometimes cannot believe this is the year 2016.

This whole anti transgender restroom stuff has got to go. It isn't even based on any kind of facts at all. In other words, this talking point about little children being in danger of a transgender person taking a pee is based on absolutely NOTHING. This must be some kind of backlash over the fact that gay marriage is now legal in all states. I cannot think of another reason why the focus would be on such a stupid thing like using a *&^%$ bathroom!

Are people going to have to present a birth certificate in order to urinate in a public bathroom? I don't think I even have my certificate of birth handy. I mean, I'm not the most feminine creature and was even once “accused” of having been born a man. I'm not joking!! A friend of mine had to literally show my accuser a yearbook picture to prove him wrong. Keep in mind that the person was a “practicing alcoholic” at the time and has now mended his ways but still, this was fodder for a lot of teasing at good old Mama Bear's Restaurant. I even answered to “George Houserman” for a bit.

Backing away from my personal history of being born a man, what if a person had the change from woman to man and now sports a full beard, tattoos and other manly things—is HE supposed to saunter into the ladies room after presenting his papers to the bathroom police?

This whole scenario makes NO logical sense to me at all. I know that doesn't say much but honestly, it's just silly. For people who supposedly want “small government,” wouldn't monitoring restrooms cost a lot of taxpayer dough?

Also, why would anyone go through the trouble of surgery or hormone replacement or whatever just so they could prey on people in a restroom? Maybe there is something more to this goofy story but I just don't get it.

So in order to use a bathroom in North Carolina one must present papers at the door to the bathroom patrol? Just typing this is making me crazier than usual.

I see a future in which those large dental mirror instruments (like they use at the borders to check for drugs) will be utilized by the patrol just to make sure the plumbing matches up with the birth certificate. I can see the toilet military force running said instrument under the stalls just to be on the safe side.

I adore how these small government types just love to spend our money on crap (no pun intended) like enforcing stupid bathroom laws. Aren't there more pressing issues of the day we can tackle?

With that, I'm off. I must locate my certificate of birth due to living in the “land of the free” in which I might be required to show papers in order to have a normal human function in a public facility. This is all because a certain segment of society is afraid of “the other.” This is absolutely unreal.