Lisa's Rants and Raves
- Written by Lisa Houserman Lisa Houserman
- Created: 23 October 2017 23 October 2017
Remember how a few weeks ago I incorporated a game that I played with my viewers into this column space? I've decided to more or less try that again this week but will have to use a different format in doing so. The boss had to basically put all of the numbers in last time due it getting goofed up when I emailed it. I need to take it easy on him so I will figure out a way to do this without using actual numbers.
The game that has you all super delighted is a take-off on “What's My Line” but I call it, “What's my Bag” instead. Mother loathes it when I utilize the word “bag” in such a manner, by the by. So this serves several purposes, one of which is to drive Mother batty. It's always fun to toy with a woman who is close to 91 years of age. Aren't I a wonderful daughter? Am I digressing? OK let's move along now. Oh, you will need a pencil and some paper or you could write your guesses at the end of the clues. Just thought I should have you prep for the excitement!!
The way that we did this live was that I gave six clues about the person, place or thing and my viewers would guess. Most of the time they got it in 3 clues because they are all brilliant. I would never allow anyone but the smartest members of society to partake in my games. Clearly I am being a touch sarcastic, just in case that slipped by you.
I am going to type out the clues and then at the very end of the paragraph, I will put the answer or maybe I should do it at the very end? Hmm, not sure let me think about this for a minute or ten.
I'm back, I think I shall do something like this: Noun number one: blah, blah, blah. Then at the very end of the piece, I will have the answers in this manner: Noun number one answer is Empire State Building. Get it? I'm not sure if I get it but we shall press on with this madness.
Each clue will be in the form of a sentence. Some might not be grammatically correct in terms of structure so please forgive me in advance.
Noun number one: A New York state of mind suits me fine. When I enter a pub, the piano guy always gives me a wink and a nod. I married above my particular class ranking and told the world about it with pride. I used to team up with Elton John. Remember you may be right, I may be crazy but I think you enjoy lunatics. I've been told that we're all in the mood for a melody and I've got them feeling alright.
Noun number two: Ronnie Reagan and I had so much in common, I just adored his politics. Christopher Hitchens openly admitted to finding me sexy. I was in my “prime” from 1979 to 1990. I was the first female to hold my position and it caused quite a stir at times. I was born on October 13, 1925 in Grantham, England. My friends called me Maggie.
Noun number three: I was a dreamer and it partially paid off. The FBI really tried to ruin my image. My April of 1967 speech might have been detrimental to my future health situation. Republicans like to claim me as their own but let's face it, I was very socialistic. I was in town to support striking sanitation workers when they took me down. The balcony of the hotel was associated with my downfall.
Noun number four: Don't make fun of my kid's names please. I've been called a musical genius. I'm a self-taught composer and it's oft' difficult to categorize my music into genres. I've been described as a non-conformist. I teamed up with my daughter in order to gag people with spoons. My music might have one conclude that I was a heavy drug consumer but I did not partake. However, I thought all drugs should be legalized.
Noun number five: I was the pride of the USA during a time when the citizens needed a hero. I won all three and broke records doing so. They called me Big Red. Ronnie was usually the one to urge me across the finish line. I won the third of three by such strides that it broke all records. When they performed my autopsy they found that my heart was over two times the size of others of my kind.
Noun number six: When I split from the rest, Wings helped me to soar. I don't eat anything with a face. Linda was the love of my life. Some say I died and was replaced. I was considered to be the cutest by many. John and I were a terrific song writing duo.
Noun number seven: I'm one of seven officially. Even though my parts are separate we are unified too. I have seen firsthand the ravages of war on my soil. I seem to appear directly in the midst of most maps. I'm totally located in the northern hemisphere but most of me creeps eastward as well. Germany and England are parts of me.
Noun number eight: A plethora of people have seen me but many think I don't exist. I'm oft' seen on ancient tablets and even on famous paintings. I've been known to carry some who might be kidnappers. Gravity doesn't bother me one bit. I might be unidentified but I still have HIGH self-esteem. I put Roswell on the map.
Noun number nine: I was the largest of my day. No one knew where I was for certain until 1985. Some say I was switched with another prior to exiting. Who knew ice would be my alleged downfall? My first time out was killer—literally. Smith was in charge and went down into the depths with me.
Noun number ten: I spent time in my youth in Alabama with distant cousins. I was openly gay before it was socially acceptable. Johnny Carson interviewed me many a time. Harper Lee was a very close friend. My holiday short stories are filled with vivid imagery, I've been told. Breakfast at Tiffany's, Other Voices Other Rooms and In Cold Blood are all feathers in my cap.
Noun number eleven: I was heavily identified with peanuts. I was the first to walk the route which made some nervous. No shots were fired during my reign. Some people say I've helped humanity more than most since I left my high position. I still teach Sunday school as oft' as possible even though I'm in my 90s. Roslin has been by my side for decades.
Noun number twelve: I'm quite mysterious even though I'm ancient. Some think I'm a burial ground. Many describe me as having some sort of magical powers. I am a British cultural icon and see many visitors a year. I could be linked to extra terrestrials and UFO's according to some. People are stunned by the weight of the large masses upon my circular stature.
Noun number thirteen: I'm associated with a stout bald child. I take most of my meals atop my home. My best friend is a little yellow creature. I'm officially of the Beagle variety. I'm associated with Lucy, Linus and Charlie. My later ego is the Noun number fourteen: I'm associated with the Great Depression era and WWII. Some of my people go by first and middle names. There are 7 children in my family even though in real life there were 8. I'm famous for our bedtime ritual. The Baldwin Sisters keep us in good spirits with their recipe. Richard Thomas was front and center for five of my seasons.
Noun number fifteen: There is evidence suggesting that I'm not as solid as some think. I'm located in the perfect position and some think it's no coincidence that I am. I determine whether it's low or high. I'm too shy to show my back side EVER. There is a debate as to whether Buzz and others stepped onto my surface. I'm not made of Swiss cheese.
Noun number sixteen: I've been coming at you for eleven plus years. I used to be quite the equestrian and even trained horses when I lived elsewhere. A bandanna or a banana clip is sometimes a hard choice for me. I'm not fond of political identities. I love to rave but I mostly rant. Perpetual is a constant source of entertainment for me.
Noun number seventeen: I was activated in 2005. Video killed the radio star in my view. Red, white and black describe me somewhat. I have replaced TV in many homes. I have a plethora of channels. Subscribers are associated with me.
Noun number eighteen: Many different parts make me whole. I'm rather elderly. I'm revered by many on the earth. Hebrew and Greek are heavily associated with me. King James gave me a boost. I love to hang out in hotel bedside table drawers.
Noun number nineteen: It used to be cheap to play me. I used to contain real vinyl. I was found in most diners across the land. Fonzie used to hit me to make me go. I am now mostly digital. I have endless selections for every musical taste.
OK ladies and gents, that is the end of this piece. Stop exhaling as you have caused the dust to pick up in this home. I'm not sure if I can continue to type in such horrendous conditions and I must provide the answers now. (20 min later) OK things have calmed down to a mild roar and I shall now plunk down the answers.
Noun one is Billy Joel. Noun two is Margaret Thatcher. Noun three is Martin Luther King Jr. Noun four is Frank Zappa. Noun five is Secretariat. Noun six is Paul McCartney. Noun seven is Europe. Noun eight is UFO. Noun nine is The Titanic. Noun ten is Truman Capote. Noun eleven is Jimmy Carter. Noun twelve is Stonehenge. Noun thirteen is Snoopy. Noun fourteen is The Waltons. Noun fifteen is The Moon. Noun sixteen is Lisa Houserman. Noun seventeen is YouTube. Noun eighteen is The Bible. Noun nineteen is Jukebox.
THE END (Interstate Crosscheck – AIPAC – Geoengineering)