WEIRD to the max

I was almost at a loss in terms of column ideas this week due to the energy expended on last week's piece. However, and you knew that was coming, I've managed to summon an idea from the deep, dark reserves of the gray cell region, aka my brain.

Holy guacamole, that was an interesting introductory paragraph wasn't it? Moving along to something weird, I thought of this just a little bit ago and decided to run it by you.

Remember how I've been urging (if urging is now defined as nagging) you to drop political and other identities and morph into total free thinking individuals for months now? Well I have another idea and I think it will be a lot of fun so just play along, would you?

This new game will consist of more or less disconnecting from life here on earth. Maybe pretend to be a heavenly creature of some sort from your favorite religion or spiritual experience- type - deal. Did that make any sense? Does it ever? OK moving along...

The name of this exercise is simply “WHY.” I will begin, like who else would start this? I'm the one typing the column.

WHY are people enamored with a bunch of inbred weirdos who wear super tall hats on their heads and/or crowns whilst zooming through the streets of various cities? Just in case you are not understanding, I'm talking about the ridiculous “royal family” of England. WHY do we look up to such stupidity? I will take it one further and ask why on earth we allow people to be kings, queens, ladies, dukes, duchesses and all of these other INSANE titles. Oh my goodness, this is super silly stuff.

There are some people who are madly in love with the goofy family across the pond. I just don't get it. First of all they are over-the-top wealthy to the point where they could literally end world hunger by parting with some of their riches. They will not do this though as the greed is a part of their DNA. Secondly, they are WEIRD. How better can I put this? They are WEIRDO people.

Have you ever watch one of those crazy ceremonies where the queen “dubs” another human being “Such and Such the Duke of Earl?” Honestly? I'm finding this stranger and stranger the more I type.

For some reason it just blows my mind that in the year 2017 we still have royalty here on earth. Does this seem odd to you or have I simply gone WAY over the edge? Do NOT answer that please as I'm already crushed by your thoughts.

Today some news item came out about Prince Philip (who has to be 102), retiring or some such nonsense. From what would he be retiring? Balancing a 7 foot furry looking object on his head? Dressing in bizarre clothing and prancing about? Honest to Pete this is super silly if you look at it in an objective manner.

I saw an interesting documentary about these goof balls having servants who actually tend to their bathroom needs, if you catch my drift. Now I don't know if this still unfolds but it did at one time. Can you believe it? Not only would they “clean up” but they would have to examine the “specimen” and store it away so that the “material” would be kept on site. We wouldn't want royal crap to mix with the common excrement now would we? YUCK!

Frankly, I find the whole thing to be disturbing on every level. I know it's hard for me to express myself and formulate an opinion on important topics such as these but I'm trying my best. (Yes ladies and germs that was sarcasm.)

In fact, the whole world being mesmerized by wealthy people has always been a “head scratcher” for me.

WHY are we obsessed with the rich and famous? I actually know the answer to that question but wanted to throw it out there. I think we have been more or less groomed to worship these loons whose only claim to fame involves being ridiculously wealthy.

I remember television shows in the 1980s and 90s that were specific to that whole narrative. Shows like “Dallas,” and “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” come to mind. We glorify these people for really no reason. Very few have actually earned those fortunes as most are passed along simply due to the bloodline. My goodness even saying “bloodline” is strange. Am I the only one who thinks like this? I realize I'm stranger than the average person but certainly I cannot be the sole human being who has such feelings, can I?

Of course this scenario goes beyond the “royalty” of Europe or the Mideast as we have the same thing here in this country.

Just in case it slipped by you, our president is basically a king or is acting like one. He has his court surrounding him at all times and dare I say he has a jester or two thrown in for good measure. It would be rude of me to name names but Kellyanne Conway floats to the forefront of my mind, just for one example.

I don't know, this just struck me as odd and I wanted to share it with all in my path. I do believe that many unaware people living in the belly of this beast known as Uncle Sam still cling to the false idea that they too might have a bathroom servant one day.

I suppose I shall be kind and refrain from bursting that particular bubble in this piece. Perhaps I shall visit that topic next time.

THE END (Interstate Crosscheck and AIPAC)