Whiner Booty

This week I thought I'd talk about flower gardening, gourmet cooking and butterfly breeding. We all need a change of pace from the hectic world in which we live so I thought I'd back away from anything controversial, much to the delight of some, and simply focus on frivolous and fluffy subjects.

As I type madly, Perpetual (life partner of 132 years) is cheerfully playing with the herd of cats as the aroma of brownies, fresh from the oven, wafts through the home. Bluebirds are frolicking about due to the unseasonably warm weather. (Can bluebirds actually frolic?)

If you fell for any of that male bovine excrement, clearly you don't know the real me. Of course I was totally lying but at least I admit to such. Did you honestly think that I would discuss casual subjects (whilst whistling) when a plethora of material has been gifted to me in the form of Agent Orange? (For those who are new, that is the name of the president; OOO is another, which stands for Oh Orange One. Orange is the new black—get it? Obama was black and he is orange—I'm trying.)

Moving along to something with some substance, first of all I almost couldn't pen a piece this week because I just didn't know where to begin. Second of all, I really don't have a second of all but have been told that one should say so after starting off with “first of all.”

What kind of human being needs to constantly toot his/her own horn? It's not my father as he's been dead for “many, many, very many—a tremendous amount of years.” Or as most would say, since 1991. (For those of you who are not aware, my father was a trumpet player. Get it? Tooting his own horn—I give up.)

Just in case you missed the implication of my question above, I'm talking about Agent Orange—I mean President Agent Orange. I know some of you live for this person but could we simply take an objective look for a quick moment or maybe 15? I'm begging you to PLEASE back away from the political ideology and honestly assess the sitch (situation).

The man has been in office for about five days, at time of this writing. In that short period of time some rather horrific executive orders, suggestions, nudges or whatever they are called have been signed but that isn't surprising. Most of us believed him when he said he would carry out such deeds.

In addition to the above mentioned, we've been subjected to absolute over-the-top crazed behavior. OOO is out of control and OBSESSED with the number of people who showed up in person to the inauguration and he will NOT let it go. He has bloviated madly to all in his path (wow I do share commonalities with OOO) about how his event was the BIGGEST, “BESTEST” most BEAUTIFUL happening since the founding of this country, PERIOD.

He also boasted to some corporate media personality that his CIA speech was simply stunning in all ways, shapes and forms. I believe he said that “many, many applause” filled the air, but I could be wrong about the exact statement. (Just to keep it real, the wild clapping was not carried out by agents. Those in his traveling circus—I mean fan club—were the culprits.)

He also took that opportunity to fill them in on the sheer magnitude and greatness of his inauguration. (Look, I have no other word for inauguration so I have to say it repeatedly.) A PICTURE of the relatively small gathering during said inaugural is not enough proof for this narcissistic human catastrophe.

Various news agencies evidently had the audacity to show the now infamous picture of his event as compared to Obama's and OOO's paled in comparison. I believe George W. Bush had more in attendance but who cares? The answer is OOO, of course. Getting back to the photographic evidence, it clearly shows the difference and was taken at the same time of day as O's. The man FREAKED over the empirical evidence. Just remember, he's the one who brought it up and keeps broaching the subject. I would say that I'm flabbergasted but it's kind of an understatement at this point.

There are a variety of methods utilized to determine how many were assembled but it does not matter; facts do not count. I understand that we also have something called, “alternative facts,” thrown in for good measure? These people blatantly LIE and somehow some still believe this baloney. Bizarre to the max doesn't even come close to describing this cult of personality on steroid situation.

Honestly, I'm embarrassed for him and dare I say I possess sympathy. It's crystal clear that he has some sort of instability problem and is massively insecure—so much so that he must, at every opportunity, shamelessly lie about, well, most everything. However, the man is deranged when it comes to the *&%$# size of his assembly. He is convinced that he is the most loved, admired, adored and worshiped person on earth. He might not even think he's lying, which is more frightening yet. He could very well believe the voices in his head—if they can enter through that ridiculous hairdo.

Come on people—especially my die hard super duper R friends. (R = Republican) Certainly even you must be having just a tiny bit of buyer's remorse? Is there anything more important for OOO to do other than to prattle on incessantly about how everyone adores him and how gigantic his “sea of love” was?

Why yes there is, now that I ponder. He also claims that he won the popular vote because MILLIONS of people voted illegally. They did so “many, many times” by coming back from the dead or performing magic tricks—something—ANYTHING because OOO just can't handle the fact that “many, many” people simply do not like him. He cannot tolerate such shenanigans and will now proceed to spend taxpayer dollars to investigate voter fraud that NEVER happened. This is nothing short of insane.

He also gets his twitter talking points from fellow predator, Bill O'Reilly but I will save that for another day as I'm exhausted just keeping up with this whole nightmare scenario.

In closing, (Todd the Cat was once again airlifted to Linesville due to your strong exhales), I will say: Crosscheck and THE END.

P.S. If you have no clue about Crosscheck, either perform a Google search or look at last week's blather. I just remembered that I should give credit when it's due. Aunt Liz (AL from the olden days) is the one who conjured the “whiner booty” deal. I should know because she called me one on numerous occasions. I cannot fathom why she would do such a thing.