Beware Valley region, she's back

Some of you might recall that I used to be the total, not partial, but total, woman about town when it came to donning my reporter cap. I once attended seven monthly meetings plus roamed the field whilst on other assignments.

Several years ago I had to give it all up due to health issues, and laziness concerns, thrown in for good measure.

Roseanne has taken my place in terms of the original seven, so to speak, and I am grateful for that.

Well, something has changed, as of late, and I'm here to blather on about it until you reach for the medication. I have now been officially assigned to cover two gatherings of governmental officials. (I'm trying to find words other than “meeting” to make my point.) Aren't you all simply overjoyed?

I told the chief, also known as David Schaef, that I wanted to ease back into reporting but wanted to primarily attend events of a celebratory nature for the most part.

I expressed that I did not want to go back to Plan A by ripping the assignments from the hands of Roseanne. It wouldn't be kindly of me to just casually tell her to move it on over, thank you, drive through, I'm back now get. As you know, I'm all about being tender and gracious so I could never do that to the current reporter. Sweet of me? Not really because I am trying to back away from governmental gobbledygook and focus on fun.

However, a few residents in the Valley region had been nagging me—I mean asking me if I would or could be the reporter for the Conneautville Borough Council. I gave into their sick demands and approached the chief for permission. He gladly accepted and off I went.

The whole thing brought up memories of how it was when I first began working for this world renown publication. You see, attending a meeting for the first time can be a daunting endeavor for me because I have no clue about the current goings on of a particular region. Not to mention, but I will, of course, that I always seem to appear on the scene during times of upheaval with personnel or some sort of controversy.

This meeting did not disappoint when it came to the above-mentioned. You can read all about it in the actual report, located somewhere in this paper, actually beginning on page 1, now that I ponder.

Even though I lived in Conneautville with Gary and Penny Clark for a while, that was many years ago and I am not very familiar with the town. So, when they started prattling on about this or that area, I just gazed at council with that “I was actually born yesterday and on a turnip truck to boot,” look.

Thank goodness, I did remember the president of council because I used to serve him seafood chowder every Friday when I was a waitron unit at Forestview Restaurant.

When I entered the darling meeting room, another gent told me that he knew my friend Glenn Milosh and he had known my father, to whom I refer as “Germ.” He started to impart to me that my father had played with this or that individual back in his trumpeting days. I did start to feel at ease over the whole deal as I took my seat.

Another exceptionally helpful gal was Sue Wheeler. She is the tax woman for that region and was casually carrying out some of her crochet work as the meeting unfolded. Well, I had to gently, yet effectively, tap her on the arm repeatedly in order to clarify who was who or whom and what geographical area was being discussed at certain times. Thank you to Sue for not shoeing me away like the bug that I was.

Of course, an executive session was called due to some major controversy and we all got booted from the facility for a time. Remind me to tell you about my first time ever hearing about executive sessions. I wouldn't want to put it right here because I always stay on topic and I rarely digress. Are you still awake? That was your test.

During our time of being exiled to the land of, well, the front stoop region of the building, I got to know two of the residents, who shall remain nameless as to protect them. I also spent some quality time with the borough secretary who is a delightful woman. She takes intricate minutes, which came in handy later whilst typing the actual report.

Mind you, I had arrived at the facility via Edna, the van, which could hardly go unnoticed due to her slight resemblance to the Scooby Mystery Machine. Others were pulling up in their delicate little fuel efficient autos as I roared to a wild stop and maneuvered the eight cylinder white dinosaur into a spot—parallel of course. I'm sure all were taken aback and wondered what had landed in their fine hamlet.

Edna turned out to be an asset as she provided some entertainment during the now infamous exec session. You see, a gent took an interest in her as did Sue Wheeler so, I simply took them on a tour. Yes, I offer tours of the van for a slight admission fee. For said fee one may take in various sights including the extension cords and other debris that has hit the floor due to my not so good rigging of a cabinet. One can also enjoy a nap in the bed whilst gazing madly at the wild and goofy looking curtains that are hiding a bunch of camping jazz from the visual paths of all involved. If so inclined, one may also seize a garment off of the clothing rod that hangs within.

After we were given permission to return to the actual meeting, Madam Wheeler continued to guide me in terms of who, what, where, why and when. This continued after the meeting because, and I kid you not, I literally took a tour of Conneautville.

See, when I covered meetings closer to home, I knew of what the officials spoke pertaining to certain areas that were topics during the gatherings. For instance, I know all about the beach in Conneaut Lake and the cemetery near the sewage plant, etc. but had no idea when it came to certain areas of the Valley. So, off I went in order to get a visual, which always helps.

Good gravy, I am bloviating more than even I expected. In closing, (yes, I feel the sigh of relief hitting me like a strong wind from the north), I must say that everyone on Conneautville Borough Council seemed to be quite inviting, warm, and all of that other descriptive stuff. The mayor is particularly a killer, (I mean that in a good way), because he really gets involved. Not only, but, he provided me with a detailed, comprehensive and stunning report that totally aided in my reporting gig.

The bottom line is that life probably won't be the same for our friends in the Valley region. Run, take cover and be on the lookout for Edna. (Like she's hard to miss.)


P.S. I never did get back to that executive session talk. I TOLD you to remind me.