Lisa's Rants and Raves
~ A rerun, blame the cold and snow ~
Before I pollute the page with a plethora of pithy remarks, criticisms and other nonsense, I must make a confession.
Last week, I casually, gently and effectively, turned in a rerun. It's totally true. You see, I didn't even want to tell the boss my reasons for visiting the column vault, because I'm sure he's ready to put me out of my misery but, I was sick last week. This has become an every other week deal for me and it was an “on” week.
I wasn't keeling over near death, or anything of the sort. However, I could only perform a task, or two, and would then become so exhausted that I'd have to take a break. I totally faked it and never told the chief until after the deadline was over. I simply had no energy left for moaning about topics that drive me to drink—a short drive these days, by the by.
So, there you have the major news of the century. I submitted a rerun without a little blurb explaining such. I'm an outlaw and I must be destroyed, pronto.
OK, I will now segue into the next part of this insanity in print.
I've taken note of some rather interesting word usage, as of late, and decided to share my thoughts with you. Aren't you overwhelmingly giddy at this point?
It has come to my attention that certain nouns have now morphed into verbs. I shall list two examples and will then give a brief, (yes, I said brief but I'm sure I didn't mean it), description of the metamorphosis. Did I spell that right? I'm digressing.
The first would be a word that must have just made the transition. In fact, I believe I heard a rumor that it is currently taking verb hormonal treatments in order to gain the boost needed to make the move from lazy noun to active verb. In other words, I have no personal memory concerning said word. Therefore, it must be in its beginning stages of life.
The word is medal, just in case you were wondering. I tired quickly of passing through a room, in which the Olympics were being worshiped, only to catch an announcer using the new interpretation of medal.
Since when do we say things like, “Susan Skatenford of Stockholm didn't MEDAL and she's upset...”?? Another example would be something along these lines. “Carl Curlington of Copenhagen medaled in four events.” How does one even spell that kind of medaled? The spelling that I'm using is totally wrong, as there are red marks all over the place.
What do they mean he MEDALED? Are they trying to impart that he got involved heavily in things that did not pertain to him? Good gravy, it appears as though Mr. Curlington is a nosy neighbor. Wait, that would be “meddled.” I'm outraged and terrified. Hold me.
On a slightly lighter note, did you see how I used last names that reflected two winter sports? I didn't think so.
Bring back the days when one would have said this instead. “Carl won four medals and Susan did not win any.”
This is sheer insanity on every level. We have a hard enough time grasping the various forms, like metal, medal and meddle. Please, is there a need for the additional madness? I don't think so.
Moving to the next noun that became a verb. I shall now examine facebook. Facebook made the big move a long time ago but I'm just now getting around to giving a fig.
“Facebook me later and we can catch up,” might be heard in conversation these days. I even say jazz like, “I facebooked her and asked if she wanted to buy an ad.” (That was an example of the past tense version. I'm good, huh?) What the heck am I thinking? Why have I gotten all caught up in this fad?
Facebook is a noun and should remain so. Don't you agree? Do you even care? Wake up, as this is the moral issue of the decade.
I'm actually done with the noun/verb scenario at this time. I do, however, have another gripe involving the butchering of our language.
Now, before I launch, I will remind folks that, contrary to popular belief, I realize that I do make mistakes. I'm not a total expert, in terms of all things grammar, but, I do my best. Not only but, if I were, oh, say, a broadcaster, of some sort, I would make every effort to utilize proper grammar. The following is a beef that I have with those in the know, like the above-mentioned newscaster, etc.
If I hear another college educated individual say, “unquote,” I will scale a tall building and begin shooting.
I have to back up a bit for clarity, if clarity now means utter confusion. There are times when unquote is socially acceptable. If one were to say, “I was, quote-unquote, tired and couldn't go,” that is fine and dandy with me—and really, isn't that all that matters in life?
I do realize that there are times when this unquote stuff works. Take the example above and note that it is being used in direct sequence before a single word.
My beef is when I hear Person A delivering a quote from Person B and, at the end of said quote, Person A says, “unquote.” This would be after quoting an entire sentence that was originally stated by Person B, by the by. Now, are you thoroughly confused? I am.
I shall resurrect my all-time grammar hero for a clearer example. You have to pretend like Peter Jennings is talking to you through your telly. (I loved him and adored listening to his flawless speech patterns.) “Today, President Nixon said the following words. I'm not a crook, END QUOTE.” Thank you Mr. Jennings for not saying, “UNquote.” I only wish Peter J. were still alive, as his usage was precise and STUNNING. He was a scholar of the English language and a true grammarian of the highest degree.
To summarize this mess, it is my understanding, and preference, that END QUOTE should be used after quoting a sentence spoken by another human being. UNQUOTE can be used if it is directly before a single word. I refuse to have it any other way.
Well, my blood pressure is, quote-unquote, sky high and I must go. Plus I have to facebook someone about an ad for this award-winning publication. After that, I'm training for the Rants Awards and am hoping to medal in all events. Wish me luck.