For the following ridiculous piece of craziness, I was tempted to dive into the vault, pluck an archived column, copy, paste, change one name and I would have been finished.

However, I was sure that I would be busted because I just know that you all memorize my columns on a weekly basis.

You see, my dear, loyal and fabulous readers, the subject matter of what lies below, has to do with the out-of-control amount of time being spent on news alerts about a man behaving in a socially unacceptable manner.

If you recall, I whipped a rant together concerning the media's nervous breakdown when it came to Tiger Woods. That is the column to which I referred when I said that I could have literally deleted one name and replaced it with another.

Can you guess the latest person who dominates the news cycle? I shall give you a few seconds...OK, you're right. It's Charlie Sheen, for crying in a bucket.

If you recall, when I blathered on to the max about Tiger, I more or less defended him, in that I felt there were more important things on which to dwell than his personal crisis.

You know, little things like, oh, say, maybe the wars, taxes, recessions and small issues like those. What a silly goose I am, I realize.

Fast forward to February 28, as that is the current date, and we now have another hugely important headline, in the form of one of the infamous Sheen/Estevez clan members.

For those of you who have been locked in a grain silo, for the past few weeks, and have had no access to the outside world, I will give a super, duper short version of the sins of Sheen.

In a nutshell, this person is the star of a hugely popular, and well rated, show on CBS. He is also the highest paid television actor in the universe—I think that's right. Moving along, he threw some wild parties, did drugs and basically wreaked havoc ferociously, which eventually led to the show being put on hold, for the time being.

Throw in some domestic violence, for good measure, and we now have 24 hours of nonstop Sheen Mania.

Chuck, as I like to call him since we're so very close, is the son of Martin Sheen and the brother of Emilio Estevez. Estevez is the family name but some of the gang changed it to Sheen, as is oft done with the Hollywood types.

(I cannot believe the words that are filling this space. I never thought, in 12 years, that I would be penning a piece about this silly stuff once again.)

So, all of his raunchy behavior has led to supposed news outlets losing their collective minds, in Tiger Woods fashion, as they hang his dingy whites out on the line for all to encounter.

Now, perhaps I'm an old fuddy-duddy but, I tend to have a preference for genuine news that might affect my real life activities, rather than the current all Sheen all the time crapola. This person currently graces our telly screens, radio speakers and, more than likely, our magazine covers.

A few nights ago, I tried, to no avail, to set sail on a long voyage in the opposite direction of Sheenland by flipping violently through the TV channels. Mind you, it's not easy to push those remote buttons in a violent manner but, I digress, as is customary at this point in any column. Anyhow, I was more than taken aback when Sheen's enthralling countenance greeted me with every wave of the remote. Hold me.

20/20, which was once more of a hard-hitting straight news program, actually dedicated the entire hour to Charlie Sheen and his mini-harem of 2 charming “grown up picture show stars,” (this is a family paper, after all). Actually, I think one chick is a model but, what does it really matter?

Every major network, plus the cable outlets, aired stuff about this individual and his personal problems.

I realize he is a celebrity and all but, perhaps Oprah, Jerry Springer, The View or other shows, which are set up to gossip about everything from infidelity to bladder leakage, should cover this story. This would be more culturally kosher than hearing Diane Sawyer or Wolf Blitzer blather on about Charlie Sheen, of all insane things.

It is just mind boggling to me that a person's party habits, choices in female companionship, child custody issues, blah, blah, blah, would be a part of the nightly news, no matter the fame factor involved.

See, I told you this would be close to a carbon copy of the Tiger tale but, how many words can one really alter when describing the media's love for celebs acting in ways that are distasteful?

I don't know about you but, I have a stronger desire to hear about the jobless situation, wars in countries that are pronounced differently by all attempting to do so, the state of the Mideast and other important jazz, rather than learning about this goof ball.

Charlie Sheen's lack of good manners, or whatever one wishes to dub his situation, isn't even on my radar in terms of earth-shattering items of a national interest nature. I do not wish to delve into such things after a long day at the office—um, or, on the couch in the sun room, as is the case with my particular work area.

Attention all reporters: Stop this madness and get on with life. Whether or not Sheen partied like it was 1999 or had his offspring ripped from his arms by child protective services, has nothing to do with the larger scheme of things.

As I said when I ended my tirade about the over-coverage of Mr. Tiger Woods, please pass the real news.

The End.