I'm so very confused and, frankly, mad as H.E. double hockey sticks this week. I'm wondering what in the world is unfolding in the good old U.S. of A.

We are bombarded with the Gulf oil spill, having troops in Afghanistan, an astronomical un-employment rate, a bizarre don't ask, don't tell policy, foreign aid issues, questions about the health care bill, an Arizona immigration policy that is reeking havoc, the possibility of Mideast peace talks and news of American families in need.

One would think that we might have a full plate with that list and I was only scratching the surface.

Why is it then, that every time I turn around, some talking head or a combination of nodding noggins are gathered about discussing, of all things, the status of the president's religious beliefs or lack thereof?

Silly me, I thought that with real, live, pressing problems facing us during these troubled times, the media might concentrate on ACTUAL news items. Just a thought.

Clearly, this is not the case as every, single, solitary, stinking, time I “un-mute”my telly, I'm faced with what, evidently, has become the number one, breaking story of the decade.

I tend to take pause when the main question on the lips of said news personalities is as follows: “Is the president a Muslim or is he really, as he CLAIMS to be, a Christian?” Oh, the scandal of it all.

Look, I loathe, with the intensity and heat of the Earth's core, broaching the topics of religion and politics in this column space. I realize it is not socially acceptable to do so, according to Emily Post, my mother and/or others who are considered to be etiquette royalty.

I am also well aware that some might turn on me due to my opinion but I have to press on and take the risk.

The thing is, I generally stock up on rants by watching the news, hearing something on the radio, perusing a paper or by hanging out next door with Mother.

Since the president's faith appears to be the running theme throughout all forms of media, I have no option but to write something about it. See, it's not my fault. I have no way out and I cannot avoid it. I am almost being forced, at gunpoint, to pen this piece due to those reasons.

Plus, I have my own sanity to factor in to this saga. Consider it a bit of therapy as you wouldn't deprive an unstable gal of seeking a path to good mental health now, would you? See, every time I hear of this major controversy, I am tempted to pitch myself from a footstool. (Hey, I'm not disturbed enough to leap from a window—even though we live in a one-story home.)

First of all, or maybe second or third of all as I've lost track, I don't even like President Obama. I mean, I guess he's a nice enough fellow but, I'm not delighted with his policies. No offense, but I won't be overly tickled with any president unless SHE turns out to be a libertarian thinker, of course.

So, to say I'm not an Obama fan is such an understatement that it would be like saying that humidity makes me a touch uncomfortable. (Check out an archived column for that story.)

Even though I don't adore Mr. O., I have to state emphatically that I might spew forth green substances, (sorry for the graphics, Mother), if I hear that he's really “not a Christian,” one more time. As far as I'm concerned, (and that's all that really matters), it's nobody's biz what he is, and yes, I made a rhyme and didn't even mean to.

I'm truly poised and ready to whiz a shoe at the telly, (much in the same manner as the one that Bush dodged), if I have to, once again, endure the unnecessary gang of aides rushing to defend the president against a religious “accusation.” I can't believe this is happening in our supposedly advanced civilization.

There are some totally crazed lunatics who spend most of their lives, as of late, on the topic of Obama's religion. Good gravy guys, get a hold of yourselves. Move on to the unemployment rate, the country's policy of nation building or the government's overreach in many areas of our lives.

These goof balls continually blather on incessantly and dedicate entire episodes to digging up the “truth” about the president's personal belief system. Just in case you missed it, I'm floored by this whole thing.

A team of “experts” has formed in order to uncover this supposed greatest mystery of the era. “Is he or isn't he a Christian?” “If he is, then what KIND is he?” “What evidence do we really have that he is?”

When I caught wind of that last statement, I reached for my kid's size 13 footwear and promptly threw my back out. (We decided to use it for a spare kayak instead of a missile.)

I don't give a piddly squat what religion the president embraces. I'm appalled that so much time and energy is being spent on this when there are so many more “worthy” problems facing our nation.

Hey, here's a wild and wacky idea. Perhaps the man likes to keep his religion to himself and family members only.

I know this seems so outdated and silly but, to some folks matters of the supernatural are of a private nature. Can you believe that? How ridiculous!

Frankly, I don't care if he bows down to pink unicorns with ribbons placed to and fro in their manes and tails in the morning, followed by an afternoon prayer service aimed at an orbiting lava lamp in the galaxy. As long as it doesn't interfere with foreign or domestic policy, go for it Mr. O.

In closing, the last time I whipped out my pocket Constitution, I found something interesting in Article VI Section III. It reads as follows: “The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.” (Emphasis mine)

OK, I'm officially done.