First of all, I cannot believe I am about to do this, as the title of this piece indicates, but, I feel that I must. Are you intrigued yet?

Well, hang on to something because this is a total shock to my system and it might upset your delicate balance as well. Actually, an antacid might be in order.

Honestly, I had already submitted a rerun for this week and then became totally inspired to pound out the following rant at speeds best reserved for pin balls on diet pills.

So, here is a last minute, rage-filled rant that should jump-start that holiday spirit. Well, maybe not, on second thought. Here we go...

Now, allow me to begin by stating that I am not a person who is madly in love with Sarah Palin. Let me clear that up right now before I move forward.

What I mean by that is this. I agree with some of her politics some of the time but not usually. I can tell you right this instant which ones those might be. It would be anything with a libertarian tilt and that's all.

Just because I do not align myself with her on a political scale does not mean that I loathe every word spoken by this woman or every move she makes in life.

On a personal level, I actually kind of dig her because of her outdoor spirit. I bet you a dime she would absolutely be totally on board with joining me on a van camping gig. She would, more than likely, have no issues at all with sleeping in cramped quarters in 15 degree weather with snow accumulating to nostril height outside.

She seems nice enough. She is quite charismatic and down-to-earth, as far as I can tell. I admire her as a PERSON but not necessarily as the leader of the free world. I fancy a president who is able to use “ing” on the end of words rather than dropping the sound altogether. Call me a media elite if you must. It's just a silly preference on my behalf, I guess. Crazy huh?

OK, moving along... Sarah recently launched a show on The Learning Channel called, “Sarah Palin's Alaska.” In this series, she takes us on a journey of life, as lived by her family, on a daily basis. Considering they dwell in the middle of nowhere, population not many, it involves scenes of total outdoor jazz, including hunting and fishing.

On a recent episode, she had the cameras rolling as she headed out into the great Alaskan wilderness for a 2 day caribou hunt.

To make a long story longer, it showed her actually shooting the animal and then they did the gutting and all that charming stuff that goes hand in hand with hunting.

Well, the games began, at that point, as all kinds of crazed lunatics seeped from the woodwork and flew up in arms because she actually had the chutzpah to film that kind of “carnage.” Good gravy, it was all over the Internet on blogs, message boards, websites and the like. People were outraged, to say the least, that she would show that footage and basically accused her of murder, in every degree, because she hunted for food.

I am not a hunter but Perpetual (fiance) is. I don't enjoy watching an animal meet his/her maker but, I realize it is a necessary element of our life here on Earth.

Several television personalities gasped in disbelief when they saw Sarah's kill, and asked who would film such a thing. Well, I have breaking news along those lines.

On any given Saturday or Sunday, there are television programs LITERALLY dedicated to scenes like this: Two men are dressed from stem to stern in hunting attire. They hunch down in the brush and whisper back and forth to each other as they eagerly await a huge buck to make the acquaintance of the cross hairs on their gun scopes. The beast approaches, there is elevated whispering and some quick movement of some sort and then...Well, you get the picture without my painting it, I pray. (I always leave the room when this unfolds.)

I am forced to endure such punishment, due to Perpetual being glued to such on the weekends—and people wonder why I camp until the snow tickles my earlobes. A slight digression as usual.

Back to the main thesis of this piece. People who crucify the great outdoor types, might take note of a local slaughterhouse and compare it to anything carried out on television by the Palins or any other frontier family.

Do these people realize how hideously and brutally animals are killed in such environments? The conditions are absolutely deplorable as terrified animals are herded to their horrendous, and quite painful deaths. All this so that people can order their meat medium rare at the local eatery. (True vegetarians and vegans are off the hook, of course.)

Sorry to be so blunt here and, honestly, I really cannot get over the fact that I'm typing this but, I am just so sick to death of every breath that this family takes being picked apart by insane and deranged citizens of this fine land. Not only but, I think folks should do some kind of compare/contrast study on which is worse, hunting or buying meat at the local market.

So, unless these anti hunting Palin haters suck on celery sticks, wear cotton footwear only and never place their cabooses on chairs made of leather, they have not one ounce of room to talk in terms of berating the Palins.

OK, I'm done. I am ready for the fallout from this column. As I said earlier, I don't even hunt and would not personally be able to kill an animal. However, I am thankful for those who do because of the pure nature of the meat and the non suffering aspect of the kill.

Perpetual is an excellent shot, as are most sportsmen I know. If one does happen to injure a deer, for instance, and it gets away, men, swathed in orange, seem to appear out of nowhere in order to track the creature and put him out of his misery. By comparison, what kinds of methods are used at slaughterhouses to insure the humane treatment of animals? Hmm. Ponder on that and get back to me