Just in case you haven't kept up with the check marks on your calendars, I'm here to remind you that it is time for a rerun in this space. This particular piece comes from a kinder and gentler time when the lion and the lamb lounged about as one under the shade of a Weeping Willow. Yes, 2008 was quite a year, wasn't it?

Clearing the way with my pitchfork, I'm now ready to back away from this keyboard and allow you to gaze upon this replay from the golden days of yesteryear.

I couldn't think of one major subject for a rant, or rave, so I decided to just make a list of things that I have noticed or pondered as of late. I have conjured a most imaginative title for the following mishmash. As you shall soon see, my gray cells are, indeed, in need of rejuvenation this week—just this week, mind you, as normally, I'm ready to perform brain surgery. Here goes the list:

“Goofy things I have noticed as of late”

Flies are more brazen than they used to be and they feel quite content to perch on noses during evening meals. Not sure if they've genetically mutated over the years, or what, but I'm ready to start insisting that they clear the table and do dishes.

Not only is the word “ignorant” pronounced as “ignernt” in northwestern PA, but it is also used totally out of context, for the most part. Example of usage here in the land of hoagies and hunters: “She is being totally IGNERNT to me.” Here is the true definition: lacking in knowledge or training; unlearned: an ignorant man. Example of correct use in a sentence: “Sorry, I'm ignorant on the subject of lava lamp construction and need your help with this project,” said Epiphany to Dakota. (Take note of the modern name usage.)

Actors on television cannot master the art of the fake to-go-coffee-cup- sip. Have you ever noticed this? Actor A gives Actor B a cup of java in a to go cup. Actor B puts said cup to lips and just totally throws back the gulp by tipping up the cup half-way. No person in real life ever does this. One must sip, due to the heat and the liquid level. Geesh.

Human offspring live for cleaning, organizing and helping in any way possible at OTHER houses ONLY.

All teenage girls share the same voice. There is something about the fluctuation of pitch in their vocal range that is absolutely identical throughout the sisterhood. Take note of this.

The more money that the government spends on any program, the worse it gets. Example: Dept. of Education.

Swimming is considered to be the equivalent of showering for those under the age of 12.

Erecting a back porch on one's home, for example, requires 37 permits, 14 visits to public meetings and an act of Congress.

The death toll from mining coal (that rhymes), far outweighs the deaths from nuclear “issues” such as mining uranium, yet everyone freaks over the idea of a nuclear power plant. (For example, this from the World Health Organization web site:

20 Years Later a UN Report Provides Definitive Answers and Ways to Repair Lives

5 SEPTEMBER 2005 | GENEVA -- A total of up to 4,000 people could eventually die of radiation exposure from the Chernobyl nuclear power plant (NPP) accident nearly 20 years ago, an international team of more than 100 scientists has concluded. As of mid-2005, however, fewer than 50 deaths had been directly attributed to radiation from the disaster, almost all being highly exposed rescue workers, many who died within months of the accident but others who died as late as 2004.) Yes, shoot me now for imparting this information.

Motorcyclists are free to chose whether they live, or die, due to wearing, or not wearing, helmets. Yet, law abiding citizens are randomly pulled over during “Click It or Ticket” in order to be “inspected” for seat belt usage.

Finally, the end has come as that was the last goofy thing I've noticed lately, or whatever it is I named this thing.