This week, I must let loose about something that is so disrespectful, rude and plain-old wrong, that it makes my blood pressure come to a simmer, if not a full-blown boil.

This is a topic that I have discussed, with close friends and relatives, over the years but, recently, due to personal circumstances, it really came to a head, so to speak.

First of all, I must begin by saying that I have no personal gripes with religious folks of ANY sect, period. As long as animal or human sacrifice isn't a part of the plan, I'm tolerant of such. So, this isn't a religion bashing column—can you even imagine my doing one of those? I'd be run out of town.

Do you recall that ridiculous saying, from years gone by, that had people declaring that some of their best friends were black? Well, my statement, about the faithful, goes along the lines of that infamous cliché.

My own dear mother and many of my friends are Christians, for instance, and I don't run to the streets screaming if they chat a bit about the conclusions they've drawn concerning religion.

In fact, I think we need more of a dialog and, sometimes criticism, over certain theories, to really investigate what makes certain people tick. Fistfights might break out but, at least entertainment would ensue.

So, again, no problem if your conviction has folks entering the pearly gates, coming back in the form of an armchair or simply ceasing to exist.

I have no qualms with the faithful, non believers, doubters, seekers, freethinkers, Atheists and the beat goes on.

I think I've made myself crystal clear but I know how sensitive this particular subject can be. Again, I really wish it weren't so taboo, in terms of banter, but, guess what....I digress to the max.

I do get a touch queasy when a person really goes overboard with trying to convince others that it is his way, or the land down under—and I don't mean Australia.

I also become quite livid when a spiritual leader, goes against direct wishes of his/her fellow humans when it comes to funerals and weddings. That is the focus of this piece.

As my great friend, and pony tender, (she keeps our ponies for us in her pasture), Reverend Joan Allen, pointed out to me, when she performs any of the above, her personal feelings must remain that way. She does not, nor would she ever, interject her thoughts, feelings, emotions or opinion, into a ceremony.

She is actually an ordained minister and married several people, (I don't mean that she actually got married many times as she's been with her husband for about a thousand years, give or take.)

She has performed several wedding ceremonies, one of which was for my dear friend, Karen Morrison Dygert. She has also presided over funerals and, in doing so, she carried out the direct orders of brides, grooms and the bereaved. She did not ad-lib, throw in her own views or do anything that might upset the applecart, as the saying goes, during said weddings and/or funerals.

I am kind of digressing a bit here but I must, or you would worry about my health.

I recently attended a funeral and actually said a few words, (a few really doesn't describe it properly but indulge me), as the deceased had asked of me years prior. (What a dumb statement as, obviously, he didn't make the request after his death. Boy, I need help with this column.) He had also made it abundantly clear to me, many moons ago, that he did not want any huge religious hoopla, in any way, shape or form, and would, instead, prefer that folks impart fun stories about his life, etc.

He had been rather doubtful about the existence of a god before but, within the last few years had become more in touch with the scriptures. Still he did not like the idea of organized religion and SPECIFICALLY made mention of not going that particular route in terms of a service.

Well, guess what happened, my dear readers? After the family talked with the minister, of a certain church in Conneaut Lake, and explained to him, in no uncertain terms, what their wishes were, he did what he wanted to, in the end.

In my view, the service morphed into what almost seemed like a tent revival of sorts. This would be the kind where the lost, (according to the leader), are encouraged to come forward and accept Jesus. That is what it was like, to me—and to many others with whom I spoke after the fact, and I kid you not.

Another example was that he, undeniably, was asked to forgo a sermon and guess what....you got it right—he did it anyway.

This person—a preacher, for crying in a bucket, ignored the covenant, (I had to use that biblical word), he had with the family and simply blazed ahead, full-throttle. He did what he darn well pleased, much to the chagrin of most every family member and many bewildered friends.

My own son even turned to me and whispered, “I didn't think he wanted this kind of thing....” Well, I didn't know what to think, say, or do and there was really nothing I could have done. (I can envision my leaping, like a kangaroo, out of my pew---note the rhyme, and pulling him off the “stage.” Not quite my style, well, maybe but, I digress, yet again.)

However, what should have happened was this. I am going to paraphrase what the above-mentioned Reverend Joan said to me.

She stated something along these lines: If that man couldn't honor the true desires of the family, he should have simply told them so. He could have even aided them in locating a venue in which their wishes would be carried out in an honest manner.

I think she summed it up really well. I've talked to a few people who were very much involved with making the arrangements. They have all told me the same story.

The preacher was asked to say the following: a prayer; a welcome; and a benediction. He was also given the liberty to announce that, in his faith, believers do go on to heaven.

As I've said throughout this piece, that wasn't good enough for him. Instead, he closed out the otherwise wonderful service, which had, until that point, been what the family had requested, by casually mentioning, (and yes, I'm being a smart *&$@ here), several enchanting things.

One was that if a person did not share his notions, he was arrogant and relied a bit too much on reason. That was quite charming, as you can imagine, for the astounded loved ones to take in. Mind you, this was to be a rather secular service, with a dab of religion, in the form of the prayer, etc., scattered in, since it was held in a church.

The bottom line is this. The minister, and he's not the only one guilty of such goings on, was absolutely unconcerned—one might even say aloof, in terms of the requests, and his initial agreement to go along with said requests. Remember, he confirmed, with the funeral planners, that he would comply with the wishes. There had been some back and forth, from what I've gathered but, in the end, he did accept the terms, for the lack of a better description.

Isn't it adorable when a devout person, who actually LEADS a congregation, basically fibs? I live for it. Yes, you silly goose, I'm being my old sarcastic self.

This column might go over like bird droppings in a fruit salad but, I just had to bellow out my feelings on this, as it is not the first time. This whole debacle was more or less the final straw.

Not everyone is in tune with the Christian faith. There are some who do not accept the god of the Bible. There are many very giving, loving and kind folks out there who do not believe in a higher power, of any sort.

So, let us keep this in mind, and especially when it comes to major milestones in life and in death.

If a couple wishes to have a ceremony in which the Bible is the focus, then that is up to them, and them only and they should have the freedom to do so. If not then the same rings true.

For crying in a bucket, all you men and women of the cloth out there should know better than to plow ahead and do whatever you want, regardless of the wishes of a family in mourning.

Well, I think that is all I can say at this time and that alone is a shocker. Oh, I will mention this. Because of the situation, that had my jaw resting on the pew ahead of me, I literally came home and typed up my own personal preferences for when I am ready to be planted.

I've sent these to a vault, more like a keeper of the instructions, and will also distribute the list among family members. I swear, if my desires are not granted, I will come back, in the form of a huge bird, and, well, let's just say that all involved might very possibly endure some pretty messy picnics in their futures. THE END.