In the last column, I chattered on about how I loathe broaching the subject of politics. However, I guess I lied about it because here I go again. I’m throwing caution to the wind and bringing you yet another delightful piece about the political landscape.

(Plus, since I got so much feedback about the last one, good and bad, I might add, I thought it might be best to keep that infamous pot stirred again this week.)

As I type this from my charming little campsite beside a roaring fire, the midterm elections have yet to unfold but are just around the bend. By the time this column hits the paper, however, we will have several new members of both the Senate and the House.

Straying from the subject for a moment, and let’s face it, a Lisa column just wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t, I don’t know what it is but somehow I am inspired to pound away on the keys of my darling mini computer every time I hit the great outdoors.

At any rate, the purpose of this piece is to impart several things that I could not help but notice pertaining to the two main parties in this, and in other, election seasons.

I’m sure that you have observed, in your lifetime, that both the right and left of our political spectrum tend to accuse the opposition of fear mongering. I have discovered that both sides actually do play the fear card, so to speak, but they do so using different methodology.

The general consensus is that the Dems claim that the Reps live for terrifying the public at large, and small, when it comes to terrorism. The “War on Terror,” as it is called, is, indeed, a tool used by the GOP, no doubt about it.

The Elegant Elephants, on the other hand, tend to hoist hefty, gray and wrinkly appendages and point them, (not easily done for creatures of that magnitude), at the Donkeys, and accuse them of being violent or attacking those with whom they disagree.

Well, I have a different take on this and perhaps you too have taken note of the games both sides play when it comes to scaring citizens of this fine country.

Here is my time-tested theory. Those on the right wing petrify children and the left is in charge of alarming the senior citizens in our lives.

Allow me to elaborate, like you have a choice. (Actually, you do as you could simply slam the paper down, a difficult task in itself as it doesn’t weigh much, and dash for the television remote.)

I best get back on track here. Wait—that reminds me of something. (My Attention Deficit Disorder is in full bloom tonight.) This “getting back on track” bull appears to be the latest, and not so greatest, catch-phrase of the Elephant Party.

For example, if I had a dime for every time I heard Ms. Palin blather on about getting the nation “back on track,” I’d surely be walking lopsided due to the clanging of change in my pocket. (In her defense though, “track” might be a favorite word of hers since, I believe, she has offspring with that handle.)

OK, I’m finally going to explain what I mean by my thesis that the lefties have a goal of making senior citizens become nervous and righties do the same for children. (Not sure if “righties” is a word but it is now.)

Every time I hear a talk radio star prattle on incessantly, I oft pick up on his or her not-so- nonchalant attempts to squeeze something in about Obama Care robbing our children and grandchildren of good futures, blah, blah and, you guessed it, blah.

This is, more than likely, a true statement but, actual studies have shown that the human brain isn’t really set up for that kind of projection into the years that lie ahead. It’s like we care but we don’t really grasp the whole stealing money from other generations deal.

Now, I cannot give you a footnote as Roseanne, of “Horsin’ Around with Roseanne,” does so often because, let’s face it, I am not that meticulous and thorough. You will simply have to take my word for this or “Google” it if you must.

So, if this study is indeed true, this rhetoric does no substantial good because it is something out of the realm of the human thought process.

Also, just think about it for a moment. Are you more concerned about keeping your job and putting food on the table or, are you losing sleep over whether or not your granddaughter will pay high taxes in the year 2020?

Moving to the left of the sphere, those affiliated with that political side cause the elderly to clutch each other for dear life. They carry out this mission by saying stuff like: “Joe Dinglehopper, candidate for Senate from the state of Confusion, is, (gasp), against Social Security!”

Can you hear the canes across the land collectively clicking and clacking on the pavement due to shaking, nervous hands? Well, I can.

I have to laugh when the Social Security card is played because I have actually read statements that explain that after three years of being on SS, the recipient has basically received pretty much everything he or she put into the system in his or her lifetime.

I am compelled to ask, if this “service” is so gosh darn wonderful, why don't the powers that be make it something one may choose? One could either pay into SS from the get-go or do something else with his own money, for crying out loud.

If a citizen wished to do so, he could give something else a try, is all I’m saying.

So, the truth of the matter is, both sides use scare tactics but they each focus on a different demographic in doing so.

Since I mentioned my colleague Roseanne, it’s only fair that I give a shout out, or, in this case, a meow-out, to Callie the Cat Columnist.

I shall utilize her famous “moral of the story” closing right now. (Yes, you may breathe a sigh of relief as your punishment has come to an end for yet another week.)

The moral of the story is: Donkeys and Elephants are both guilty as charged of fear mongering. So, my remedy for all this scary jazz, is to simply join the libertarian thinkers out there across this fabulous nation.

Now you know the real purpose of this column. Here, all along, it has been a secret political commercial for the libertarian thinking process! Plus, I know you missed those wonderful campaign ads so I am simply giving you what you want. (By the way, I do approve of this message. I better throw that one in for good measure.)

Because I'm a part of the whole libertarian philosophical thinking system, I can tell you first hand that we get to pick on both sides wildly. It's great to sit back, relax and pen critical columns about it all.

Isn’t life grand? You too could be a never-satisfied-with-any-politician-kind-of-critical-human just like I am!

What a goal, I know. Well, that’s all she wrote and, until next time, come out of hiding from those big, bad Elephants and Donkeys as yet another election has been put to bed. (That’s almost as exciting as this column coming to an end but not quite.)